Last week at the dinner table my financial philosophy (see about me) was challenged by my two sons, ages 10 and 11.
I’m not sure how it came up but one of them (probably the eldest who aspires to be the next Donald Trump) said it was nonsense that money doesn’t make you happy. “Of course money makes you happier mum, look at all the stuff it can buy you and places you can visit when you have lots of it! You can’t do all that fun stuff when you’re poor.”
When I turned to son No.2 for backup, he took big brother’s position, which is rare. Given both are obsessed with super cars right now, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. If they won the lottery tomorrow, and were old enough to drive, they’d rush out to buy their favourite racing cars and live happily ever after, so profound is their love for super cars. I had to concede the point. Yes, money can buy happiness but there’s a big BUT to follow. They won’t get it until they’re adults.
What I tried to emphasis in my yoga mum/personal finance guru way was that the happiness money did buy would be limited and that longer lasting, more meaningful happiness, for most, derives from more substantive things, i.e. friends, good health, and loved ones.
Given the choice between being rich and poor, yes I would chose the former and yet it’s impossible to ignore the troubling reality that people much poorer than us living in developing nations are typically the happier bunch. I won’t reopen this can of worms.
Instead, I wanted to look at net wealth and how it is calculated. In pure monetary terms it’s a straight forward calculation. One’s net worth is a figure that is derived by adding up all your assets (house, supercars, investments and other assets) less whatever money you owe on them. Imagine you had to sell everything tomorrow (and pay back the bank too) and then you’ll arrive at a rough figure. If you don’t deduct the money you owe, naturally you’ll have an inflated sense of your net worth. Strip away the debt and get down to what you do own.
Now, because I’m a yogi, I also look at net worth in another way. Let’s call it net self worth or perhaps net wellbeing. Assume for a second you lost all your worldly possessions and assets and all you were left with was the clothes on your back. What would you be worth then?
From a material perspective, you’d be as poor as a pauper but how about the stuff we don’t put a value on?: friends (the true blue ones who show up to help you on moving day), family (those ones who are with you through thick or thin), your good health, your knowledge and skills that you could fall back on to get yourself back up again, your contacts, your attitude, your personality and your all around value as a human being.
You could say your net self worth, is what you are left with when the material assets are stripped away.
We don’t often put a price on these things but really we ought to. Why? Because who you are as a human does count more than what you accumulate and leave behind when you shuffle off this mortal coil. I know, it’s one of those warm and fuzzy statements that hard core capitalists find cringe worthy and laughable.
But ask yourself this and choose for yourself what matters more: stranded on a desert island (that had no hope of being discovered by your rich mate with the speed boat or chopper) who among your peers, friends, and family would you want with you and would you make the cut if the tables were turned.
Funny enough I met a woman this weekend who was a perfect example of someone who appeared to be familiar with both types of net worth. She was a nature loving grandma who was unpretentious as they make ‘em and as sweet and kind as apple pie. Guess what? She drove a Lotus.
I learned an important lesson in meeting Lotus Gran and also in having my entrenched views challenged by my kids.
Supercars and good karma are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
For more tips on balancing money and personal well being, check out my book Money Matters. Available in ebook or by special order.
Well put. xx
Originally posted on Jacinta-Yoga:
And no, you don’t have to be flexible at all to practice yoga. Sometimes a stiffer body is way better, since your body will let you know clearly when you are going too far/too deep. A stif(fer) body can make you feel more humble and grateful as well. Full lotus pose in headstand is not on your goal list, instead you just want to feel better in your body and relief your ache muscles.
A relaxed and calm person? Oh yes, I definitely am if I am on a holiday with loved ones and having nothing to worry about. No seriously, my close friends and family won’t define me as a relaxed person. While I can appear calm and focused on the outside, as soon as you start to know me better you realize that I am a normal human being who probably stresses slightly more than average. This is one of the reasons why I started practicing yoga at the first place.
Does this make me less of a perfect yogini? Again you could ask yourself compared to whom am I more stressed? What really matters to me is how my yoga practice makes me feel. What do I experience? What do I feel? How is my yoga practice helping me to discover who I really am.
This week I was approached by a friend looking for some advice on money matters. I had to emphasise the fact that I am not an authorised financial advisor (AFA). Why should they or you care whether or not I am an AFA? Because new rules introduced in the last few years specify that any professional giving you personalised advice has to be authorised to do so. What this means in plain English is they have passed certain tests and meet criteria laid out by regulators with the Financial Markets Authority. Previously, anyone could call themselves a financial advisor, regardless of their background, qualifications and experience. New Zealand was the wild west of the financial services sector. Thankfully, there are now rules and system in place meant to restore confidence to the financial advisory sector and to raise the bar in general.
I won’t pretend to be anyone other than I am. I am a journalist with more than 20 years experience, a published author specialising in personal finance and a yoga teacher. The information I share with you is for your own personal empowerment and not for my own personal gain. Of course, if you want to buy my book, I won’t say no. Perhaps it’ll help you along your journey to financial independence if that’s what you’re after.
My own view is that with enough information you can be your own financial advisor. No one is going to care more about your money than you. That said, there are some excellent individuals within the profession, and if you really don’t have a clue, don’t have the time and or inclination, then in many instances a financial advisor or another specialist that can help you makes sense.
So, what should you look for in an AFA?
Here’s five considerations:
Find out how long they’ve been in the business of giving advice, where they’ve worked, who they’ve worked with and what, if any, their specialty is.
2) Fees vs commissions
In other places around the world, regulators are working to unshackled financial advisors from commissions. This is so financial advisors won’t push you into products (i.e insurance, mortgages and investments) where they receive a kick back. Because the new disclosure rules are so rigid here in New Zealand, the Government has decided not to go this route. Well so far anyhow. At the moment, financial advisors are paid by either a straight fees system (an hourly rate usually) and or commissions. They are required to tell you about all this during your meetings with them. If they don’t, ask. Also make sure you understand it. Like really understand it. Not just half of it. If they can’t explain it in a way that you understand, move on and find someone who can. This stuff is not as difficult as you might expect, particularly once you purge all the jargon from the conversation.
Just as we rely on references from friends and family for doctors and dentists, be sure you ask your would be advisor for references. Obviously, if you get a reference directly from someone you trust and know who has benefitted from this person advice that’s preferably but as many Kiwis do not use advisors you might have to rely on the references they supply you with.
According to a recent report prepared by financial journalist David Chaplin, of the 1,895 AFAs currently registered in New Zealand, only 325 investment advisors can be said to be truly independent. Banks, stockbroking firms and one single firm (AMP) together account for more than half of the AFAs. This is concerning to the extent that (despite stringent disclosure requirements) there are bound to be some inherent bias in their advice. To the uninitiated I expect a lot of this sounds ultra boring but it’s an important detail. If you are taking someone’s advice (be it KiwiSaver or another workplace superannuation scheme, another type of investment or insurances you want to know you’re not being shoved into something because it’s better for them than you. This isn’t to say those who are affiliated don’t want to genuinely give you give advice or aren’t good at their jobs. You just want to understand the nature of the relationship.
5) Do you really need advice?
Lastly before you secure the services of an authorised financial advisor ask yourself whether you really need their help or whether you are just lacking in confidence to do it yourself and to invest the time to build your knowledge.
I write about this in chapter eight of my book at greater length however I’d like to share with you my top 10 tips on this question.
1) Know thyself: be brutally honest with yourself about your financial acumen or lack thereof.
2. Know the rules: spend some time familiarising yourself with the new rules affecting financial advisors.
3. Know the difference: understand how RAs, AFAs, and QFEs differ
4.Come prepared: have a list of question to ask your prospective advisor
5. Shop around: interview a few potential advisers
6. Check them out: find out if the adviser is listed on the Financial Services Provider Registry.
7. Be aware: make sure you understand how the adviser is paid
8. Gather opinion: ask to see references from other clients
9. Look for chemistry: make sure you feel comfortable with the adviser.
10. Trust your instincts: don’t enter a relationship with an adviser if it doesn’t feel right.
Following last week’s confessional blog, I decided this week (I have good intentions for once a week blogging now) to shower you with some link love.
Other bloggers will know well the virtues of link love. Outbound links to other writer’s good work offers some karma kickbacks. By generating traffic for others looking to build their readership, you in turn create some of your own. i.e. You follow me, I’ll follow you.
When I was writing my regular column for New Zealand’s top most read financial website interest.co.nz, we made this a regular habit. As a result, we had a really good SEO; search engine optimization. We beat almost all the other media. If you don’t believe me google my name.
My motives here aren’t self-serving. In fact, I don’t earn a cent from any of this. Call me crazy. The money writer who writes for free. Why am I doing it then? Because I would like to share with other like minded folk some of the informative, inspirational and juicy content that I come across on my regular trolls through cyberspace in the domain of finance and well-being. Why? Ultimately to encourage others to pursue their dreams.
I thought I’d follow the format of my old column as it worked quite well. Five links of a personal financial nature with some creative (some days more so than others) wordplay to keep you engaged about a subject most of you would rather avoid. If it proves popular (Word Press stats and Google analytics are brilliant), I’ll keep at it. If not, I’ll channel my energies and talents elsewhere.
So, here in no particular order are five great reads to get you thinking about what the heck your purpose here on earth is (my belief: to be happy and work for a greater good), how to realise your full potential, how to increase your income (yes money does matter hence the title of my book Money Matters), and how to get more engaged in your daily lives in a meaningful way.
1) Blessings in disguise
Here’s a news flash; crappy things happen to good people who deserve better — ALL THE TIME! It happens to me at least twice a week. Okay, that’s probably not news to most of you but you might take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone. The more important point here about people who vex you, experiences that upset you, bosses you can’t stand, or not getting x, y, z when and how you want it is that actually these apparent frustrations and disappointments are usually blessings in disguise. It is not always ease to frame them as such or see how they can benefit you but when you step back, take a deep breathe (you can learn how to do this well in yoga), a broader perspective, readjust your thinking, you’ll begin to see how they are really opportunities for you to reassess, move in a new direction; find the path, person or job that was better suited for you and to experience real growth.
Maria Khalife from Om Times explains more here.
2) Defining success
Over the years, more than I want to count, I’ve come to change my definition of success. I used to think it meant a fancy house, a flash car, lots of holidays and a budget to eat out whenever you didn’t feel like cooking. Eventually it dawned on me that a lot of people who have all that stuff aren’t particularly happy people. Now I tend to view success, broadly, as people who are happy with themselves and what they have, however modest or big. In the matters that count most, matters of the heart, they are rock solid. That said I believe success has an external face too. In this regard I would define it as doing something you love, doing it really well and also making a difference in other peoples’ lives. We’re here to work for the betterment of humanity and we all have a role to play.
On that note, here’s an interesting item I have been sharing on finding your inner wealth and harnessing your talents without spinning in circles. Good stuff here.
Inc. writer Laura Garnett interviews talks to author and serial entrepreneur David Kidder about true talent and making it work.
3) The power of words
Whether I’m teaching a yoga class, or talking to a roomful of financial advisory types and policy makers about how they can get people to care more about their money, words are my currency.The words you choose, how you deliver them and the order of them is incredibly important if you hope to capture your audience’s attention and to hold it.
For those of you working with the public, or aspiring to one day, here’s five tips from Mika Salmi on the qualities of a great speech. If you don’t read it, a take away message is silence is golden. All hail the pregnant pause.
4) Honey money
No, it’s not a cheap ploy to spike traffic and you’ll have to do your own research to validate the findings but new research published by the Institute for the Study for Labor in Bonn, Germany suggests that those employees having regular sex (four times a week) earn on average 5% higher wages. Maybe 5% isn’t significant enough to make this observation newsworthy. Far be it for me to say however it stands to reason, as per researchers’ efforts to explain why this is, that there’s a financial upside to having more fun in the bedroom. Why? It’s well known that sex helps to reduce stress. Carrying that thread, individuals who are less stressed are usually happier to be around (in the office or wherever else), and this sociability is a form of currency in and of itself that can produce good outcomes employment wise.
Print it off and leave it under your mate’s pillow or coffee cup in the morning.
Wall Street Journal’s Market Watch carries the details just in case you thought I dug this up from the Women’s Weekly.
5) Do what you love
It’s been well forecast that due to strains on Government pensions and purse strings generally that folks are going to have to work well past retirement age (65 in NZ) to make ends meet in old age. That’s based on predictions the New Zealand Superannuation, in its current form, is unsustainable to meet the needs of a population expected to live longer than every before in human history.
Because politicians of the day are unlikely to do something about this any time soon (at the risk of turning off voters who dislike the idea of working till 67) there is good potential, unless you’ve been very good with your money, that you’ll be working for a longer time than you might expect.
Bad news? Only if you are working at a job that you dislike which is all the more reason to find something you are good at and which you enjoy. Discouraged? You shouldn’t be. Another thing that distinguishes “successful” people, is that many are doing what they do for the thrill and challenge and fun, and not for the money. As a consequence or because of this rather they are postponing retirement.
The Chicago Tribune backs this up here with an article about why wealthy folks are less likely to retire.
If you’ve enjoyed reading my blog and found some of the links useful, do me a favour and spread the link love by sending this out to some of your contacts to help me build traffic. Don’t worry. I won’t spam them, or advertise on their sites or try to do anything other than inform and entertain.
Thank you and do yoga!
I’m not a Catholic, a Buddhist rather, but I feel like I need to start this blog as though I were going to confession:
Please forgive me. It’s been five long months in between blogs.
This is what happens when you’re not on a deadline! It’s also what happens when you are trying to find a linear route through a dense and confusing forest of seemingly conflicting paths. Eventually we arrive where we are meant to be long before we make the realisation that we’re there.
If I’m honest with myself another reason for this yawning gap in between blogs (apart from being incredibly busy teaching, freelancing, trying to be a good parent and take my dog for regular walks) relates to money. In the face of paid employment, unpaid efforts took a back burner. Despite my fondness for writing, the fact that no one was/is paying me to do it, caused me to abandon it.
While I was away in Bali on more yoga teacher training last month, the regular column that I’d been writing for two years was cancelled, ironically because of a lack of financing for it. As a result, I stopped writing. I filed my last column a week ago. So not only did the money dry up, but so did my ink well.
I’ve been thinking on this situation a fair bit as I try to reconcile the need for money (cold hard economics) and what I enjoy doing to fill my time. Yoga is my number one passion. I could happily pass my days taking and teaching classes and talking about it until the cows came home. I’d come to think my reasons for writing were purely economical but here I am after five months writing for free. Apparently my well isn’t totally dried up.
Why write without the financial payback? For the pleasure of writing? For the satisfaction of seeing my thoughts jump out of my head and form themselves into words? Yes, both I suppose. So what of the money? Fortunately, I’m not starving and have a sufficient savings buffer to protect me while I try to establish alternative income streams. I’m lucky I guess although one of my friends suggests it’s not luck so much as sheer pragmatism and sensibility that put me in this boat of being able to float financially for a bit longer. This same friend likes to challenge me when my thinking becomes foggy prodding me to decide what I would do if money wasn’t a factor.
The question and very idea of it was so foreign that I couldn’t honestly answer him. I have been so worried about getting ahead, having enough, doing the right thing, pleasing the boss and following the 9-5 herd mentality my whole adult life that I couldn’t allow myself the freedom of imagination or open heartedness to contemplate a path of action unshackled from financial consequences. While I was in Bali I was able to knock through some of these mental roadblocks. I would not say this is a practical reality for me now (working for free) but I can at least answer the question now without that log jam of self limiting thoughts that prevented me from contemplating such a reality.
What would I do if money didn’t matter? Funny enough I would most likely do exactly what I am doing now. I would continue teaching yoga classes and focus on growing my student base. Not for the money but because I know first hand and have seen how yoga helps people to relax, to become more fit and flexible and at peace with themselves.
I would work on fun yoga events, for example leading some low cost community classes to make yoga more accessible to the masses; lead some retreats to exotic destinations and include my kids and boyfriend. I would blog for the heck of it, in the hopes of inspiring others to follow their heart and pursue their passions, or at least discover their passion and try to make themselves happier. I would write on subjects I was passionate about; yoga, well-being, book reviews and money – as it relates to making a better life for oneself. I would focus on being a good mum and try to do a better job of it attending more school and sports events, volunteering and working to ensure they have a fun childhood knowing it’ll be over before I know it. I would also make more space and time for the people I love, friends, family and my partner. There I said it. The honest truth, free of worry.
Money, when you hold it too closely, takes on a distorted role in your life. You get so focussed on the short-term that you lose track of long-term objectives and the fact that money is not a means in and of itself but simply a means to an end. I write about this a fair bit in my book, in chapter one.
Before you go chasing the dollars, conduct an internal stock take. What do you want out of life? Is the life you are living the one you want to live? Do you love your it? If not, why not? Are you with the person who is going to bring out the best in you and vice versa whilst being realistic that you are the author of your own happiness. This is the personal stuff in the world of personal finance and which lays the groundwork for money management. Most of us have the equation all wrong. We think hard work = money = happiness. Instead of happiness + hard work = money
Of course it’s not always going to be the case that are you blissfully happy, whilst working hard and that money is, as a result, going to fall from the sky. When I was writing my book, it was a hugely stressful time. I had a new puppy (poor timing on my part), a full-time job, two kids to manage and no time to myself for six months. But I got through it in the end and it was/is hugely satisfying to have completed this project.
The part I had to work hard on when it was done was happiness. Working full-time in the city at a desk job was making me miserable. I kept waiting for someone, some thing, some miracle to come along to rescue me from this situation. It finally dawned on me that if I didn’t take matters into my own hands years could go by with me feeling unfulfilled and grinding through the day. So I took a major leap of faith (I was realistic about the money bit) and quit my job so I could do more of what I loved and which made me happy. Yoga. The classes didn’t come immediately but I went from one or two to seven a week within five months. In the process, I fell in love with the most wonderful man, I was made an ambassador to the one retail shop I actually patronise and advocate for (Lululemon), and I tapped into a whole network of inspiring people and friends with similar interests and passions. It’s been a wonderful journey.
Looking back, I wonder why it took me so long to start really believing in myself and chasing my dreams. The excuse I always gave myself was money, time and lack of support. Abundance wasn’t outside my reach, it was within me the whole time. When I realised this, that’s when I started to attract into my life the most amazing people, events and experiences.
So if you are reading this and happened to feel stuck in some way in your life, ask yourself what self limiting beliefs you are clinging to and why. If there is no basis for them (and that’s usually the case) let them go and create space for imagination, dreams and joy in your life.
The truth will set you free and from there the money will start to follow.
I can remember very clearly my first serious speed wobble. I must have been about six or seven years old. I was flying down a very big hill on my bicycle on one of my dad’s signature all day excursions. I wasn’t wearing a helmet (you didn’t back in the ’70s) and my brakes were the reverse peddle variety i.e. not very effective. As I lost control of the handle bars and the front tire began to veer back and forth in ever widening loops, I could anticipate the crash. It was awful. I sailed over the bike onto the asphalt, scraping knees and elbows, and seriously bruising my child sized ego. It was a small miracle I wasn’t tossed into oncoming traffic and that I didn’t sustain a brain injury. I can’t say I remained calm, but I do remember carrying on. I didn’t want to miss out on the zoo visit.
Whether it’s on a bike as a kid, or as an adult on a yoga mat trying to work side plank into your practice, the speed wobbles will find you. It’s all part of the growing process on our way to building strength, resilience and fortitude.
As a yoga teacher, I like to point out the parallels in our practice on the mat and our lives outside the studio. Generally speaking, our strengths and weaknesses on the mat have an equivalent in our private and professional lives. This is not always the case but quite often.
Flexibility is one example of this. My observations are that those students who can easily slide into poses like Upavishta Konasana or Hanumanasana tend to be versatile, adaptable creatures pliable in their mental thinking as well as subtle. Balance also shows up on the yoga mat; those folks whom have balanced home and professional lives tend to exhibit above average stability on the mat too. Conversely, those individuals lacking in balance in their personal lives can tend to be pretty wobbling on the feet. I haven’t tested this theory scientifically, these are just my observations. Like everything else in life, there are exceptions.
With my own personal yoga practice, my flexibility and balance have always been good. My weaknesses have tended to be strength related.
These past few months, my strength has also been tested outside the studio. Having made a huge leap from the world of full-time employment as a journalist, to freelance writer and part-time yoga instructor, I have been confronted with enormous challenges. Self doubt, as I previously wrote about, is one of them.
The conversation I have with myself goes something like this: Did I make the right decision? Why can’t I be satisfied with following the herd? Am I being an irresponsible mother trying to build more balance in my life by doing what I love but sacrificing the pay? Have I failed because I haven’t reproduced my income levels in three months as a freelancer to what they were as a salaried employee? These are the kind of questions that nag.
Watching some students recently building their own strength on the mat, it dawned on me that I’ve dealing with speed wobbles once again. I am a natural achiever but rather than take stock of what I have already achieved I look at what I haven’t and beat myself up. Fortunately, I have friends who remind me of my achievements including a recently published book, freelance work, television appearances, a growing yoga teaching schedule and of course, my biggest and proudest achievement – motherhood.
So three months on, where do I find myself?
Here’s my stock take:
I have gone from being a reliever yoga teacher to having five permanent classes a week. It didn’t happen overnight. One small break thru, then another, then another. In addition to the regular classes, there is more relieving work and other opportunities in the works.
What I’m wrestling with mentally and financially too is the redistribution of time and energy from full-time journalism to part-time yoga. By creating space and opportunity for more to happen in the yoga side of my life, there’s been a natural pull back in the profession that I have done for 20 years. Because there is not enough time in the day it would have been impossible for me to continue on the path I was on (with journalism) while carving out more yoga. This is an adjustment I’m having to make to do more of what I love. While there has been a short-term trade off between money and love (for my work), I view it as a short-term one given my long-term objectives. Flexibility hasn’t been an issue so much as my strength at managing the transition and also offsetting fears and doubts.
Having an adequate financial safety buffer to see me through the transition has helped. I was prepared in that sense. What I wasn’t prepared for was the uncertainty that can undermine one’s confidence and the inevitable curve balls. Virtually every book written on success warns you to prepare for failure or for your well prepared plan to deviate from the path you set for it. That certainly was the case in mine. My known income from writing was cut in half unexpectedly. I’d also had high hopes for another broadcast opportunity that hasn’t YET materialised. I’m being tested.
The tests I’m up against right now are patience, faith and commitment.
Having patience – to see the scales of journalism and yoga balance out more evenly.
Having faith – that things are happening at a pace that I can adjust to. If I live up to my end of the bargain, putting intention into action where possible, then opportunities will eventuate. If they don’t, then it’s time to reassess and change directions.
And finally commitment. My commitment to my purposes is borne out in both tests of patience and faith because if I were to quit on them, then the commitment obviously wasn’t that great in the first place.
Amid all of this, it’s another big balancing act. Of motherhood, work, love, friendship and work. Fortunately for me, balance is one of my strengths and I’m relying on it to get me through the speed wobbles.
The speed wobbles are scary sure but they can serve as a reminder to slow down, take stock and stay strong as you build up strength. And if you do get thrown, as I did when I was a kid on my bike, you dust yourself off, wipe away the tears and move on. It might just be in a direction you hadn’t planned on.
I’ll keep you posted.